When your ex reaches out to you, it fills you with disgust.  You feel like everything they say is wrong.  Everything they do is the exact opposite of what's right for your child.  Everything about them makes you wonder why you ever married them in the first place! 

Your ex tells you constantly that you're not a good parent.  Your ex compares you to their new spouse or partner in an effort to make you see just how much better off they're doing.

Co-Parenting?  Ha!  You can't even imagine because of how difficult your ex is!  It always has to be their way.  Not only do they not listen to you, they do whatever they want as if you were never talking. 

You've moved on.  You're dating, living the life you want and focusing on raising your children.  You're generally happy. 

You're happy until your ex shows up in your life again. 

Maybe it's a school concert and they pretend they're friends with everyone in the room even though they couldn't even tell you what your child is studying in math right now.  Maybe it's a sporting event where your ex likes to show off just how much they think they know.  Maybe it's a decision you two have to make together for your child. 

Whatever it is, there's your ex, filling you with so much rage that it feels like you're right back in the eye of the divorce. 

How do they do that? 

In ever other area of your life, you're doing well!  It's only when your ex shows up that you start to feel like you're taking many steps backwards.  You've moved on! 

Or, have you? 

If you and your ex haven't fixed your co-parenting relationship, you aren't past your divorce.  You're just not.  I hate to be so blunt with you, but it's true.  If your ex fills you with that much negativity every single time you have to parent with them, you aren't over your divorce. 

Here's the thing.  That's ok. 

It just means it's time to fix that.  This feels like a good place for an empowering quote quote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  The great Eleanor Roosevelt said that. 

I genuinely believe that no one is truly over their divorce until they can decide to co-parent or parallel parent together.  Co-Parenting is a long, difficult world.  You think it's hard to decide who gets the wedding china in a divorce, try deciding which school district your child should attend. 

If you need to fix the co-parenting relationship, there are many ways to do that.  Unsure of where to turn next, prepare yourself because there's shameless self-promotion coming up. 

With my new book, "Co-Parenting When Your Ex Won't: A How-To Guide to Changing the Co-Parenting Relationship", there are very real tips to put in place to help you fix this.  Subscribe to our email list on the right to find out when pre-sale starts.  Hint: it's very, very soon. 

If you've tried everything you can to fix the co-parenting relationship, but it hasn't work, then it's time to let go of the emotional hold your ex has over you.  Pick up the emotional freedom workbook on the Work With Me page and work through those emotions so you can finally, totally move on. 

Comment below and tell me about your ex, the issues you have and let's work to get you over them!

Once you have a plan in place to manage your emotions, it's time to start co-parenting with your ex, even if they're extremely difficult. Click on the button below to learn more. 

Instagram
Kaern Becker, MA Life Coach