You’re all here because you WANT TO work with your co-parent. You want to get things done for your children. You know the kids benefit from both parents being a part of their lives. You also know that this means during your part in co-parenting. What does that mean? It means giving up a few things to ensure co-parenting goes smoothly - at least on your end.

  1. Competition. You need to know that your children don’t love one parent more than another - even if one of those parents has an Xbox.

  2. Being right. You’ve heard the phrase, “you can be happy or you can be right” and in positive co-parenting, that phrase sometimes rings true. Arguments cannot happen over every detail, pick your battles.

  3. Sticking to your Court Order exactly. There’s no perfect Court Order. You can put everything imaginable in it, but there will still be situations in which flexibility matters more than the Court Order.

  4. Big events. Speaking of Court Orders, generally speaking, you and your co-parent are splitting big days. This means that when your child graduates from preschool, they will go home with one of you vs. both of you. Birthdays happen on a different day every year, which means you may have your kids on their special day one year, but not the next.

  5. Control. Co-Parenting means both parents make decisions for their kids - all decisions. You may have the ability to make all the decisions on your own, and they may be good decisions, but it’s not just one parent’s choice.

  6. Pain from the divorce. As long as you are holding onto the anger and hurt that comes from the divorce, it will find it’s way into your co-parenting relationship. Not only does letting go of this pain give you a chance at a better, happier life, but it protects your co-parenting relationship.

  7. Waiting for apologies. Sometimes you need to be ok with the sorry you never get. A lot has happened to get you to this point. Some of you will get an apology, some of you will not. This doesn’t mean closure can’t happen. It just means you need to find closure outside of an apology.

What have you given up in order to be a positive co-parent? What do you need to give up, yet? What’s holding you back? Come and talk about it in the Facebook group or comment below.

Combine this with the tips and tools given to you in the co-parenting after divorce video and you'll be a positive co-parenting master- even if your ex is negative. Click on the button below to learn more. 

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Kaern Becker, MA Life Coach