You all know that we're supposed to forgive others.  You know that we're supposed to forgive ourselves.  You know that before there is true emotional freedom, there needs to be forgiveness.

So why is it so hard to do? 

In all my years of experience, I've found that it comes down to a few reasons.  Find yours and try the methods below to combat it. 

When it comes to forgiving others, many people (myself included) feels like we're letting the people that hurt us off the hook.  It feels like they're getting away with something we think they should pay for.  When it comes to forgiving ourselves, it can feel like we haven't truly learned the lesson until we feel the pain of it.  Rather than trying to self-punish or trying to make someone else pay for mistakes, let's let the universe take care of things.  It isn't our job to come up with punishments for ourselves or others!  The more time we spend trying to hand out karma, the less time we spend living our lives.  Which would you prefer?  The longer you hang onto the anger you feel towards yourself or others, the less time you spend moving on. 

When you forgive someone for treating you poorly, it can feel like there's a lack of closure, right? It can feel like until you say the words, "I forgive you", there's no end to the situation.  The problem is the minute you use those words, it becomes less of a forgiveness situation and more of a validation situation.  You have to create your own closure.  You have to tell yourself, "I forgive (insert name of person you forgive here)" and then tell yourself that you're moving on.  Forgiveness isn't for the other person.  It's for you.  Forgiveness simply takes the power away from the other person and the negative situation and puts it back in your hands. 

When you decide to forgive yourself or someone, you may think you have to forget this ever happened.  That's not true at all.  It becomes easier to forgive when you realize that all you're doing when forgiving someone is removing the power.  If you're forgiving yourself, you're saying, "I no longer allow this situation to run my life, I forgive myself for this mistake and am moving on".  When you forgive someone else, you are doing the same thing.  You remember it happened and your relationship may change because of it, but you're not allowing them to have power to change your life in a negative way.  You're letting the anger go.

Those are the biggest obstacles to forgiveness, I've seen.  What have you seen?  Comment below and tell us.  If you're looking for real emotional freedom, don't forget to stop by the Work With Me page and pick up a copy of the workbook.   

Doesn't Emotional Freedom sound wonderful? Doesn't it sound like something you WANT, but may be too hard to get? It's all in your reach and in the Emotional Freedom workbook, I give you the steps to get there. Start working towards your freedom today. 

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Kaern Becker, MA Life Coach