Thoughts are a powerful thing. You likely already know that you are in control of your thoughts, but at times, it seems the opposite. Doesn't it? It feels like your thoughts are controlling you instead of you controlling your thoughts. There are a few times in your life when it feels like your mind wanders to where it wants instead of where you want it to: having a baby, getting a divorce, and blending families are just some of those times. 

When you start going through a divorce, there are so many thoughts that run through your mind, aren't there? 

  • Why is this happening to me?
  • What a complete jerk, they're better off without me. 
  • What will my friends/family think? 
  • Am I meant to be alone?
  • What's wrong with me?
  • I can do this. God only gives me what I can handle.
  • My future looks so much better than my past!

It's easy to see how your mind can get out of control, can't it? Over the years, I've worked to categorize these thoughts so I can help clients in overcoming them. Very generally speaking, they fall into the following categories:

  • Denial
  • Depression
  • Anger
  • Hope
  • Acceptance

If you noticed, those are the stages of grief. Going through a divorce is similar to losing a loved one. You travel in, out, and totally through the stages of grief. Recognizing where you are at any given moment in time can help you gain control of your thoughts and redirect them to where you want to be. 

Sure, at first it feels forced, but after time, you'll be a pro at making your thoughts work for you. As we go through the next few weeks, I hope to talk to you more about focusing on you, on your thoughts, and on how to make this all work for you. 

At the end of the day, you live one life. Do you want to live it thinking negative thoughts, or do you want to live it knowing negative thoughts are a part of your life, but that you can move them into something much more positive? 

Today, I encourage you all to own your life, gain your emotional freedom and change your mindset. You can click on the buttons below to download the workbooks to help you do just that. Comment below with your favorite ways to redirect your thoughts to something positive for a chance to win them both! 

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Kaern Becker, MA Life Coach