There are 2 types of tired. There is the exhaustion that comes with being a parent and raising children, the type of exhaustion that a weekend of sleep can help. There is also the exhaustion that comes with working everyday to be a positive co-parent only to be met with coldness, hostility, and anger. It’s the type of exhaustion that can only be helped when you put any extra energy you have into being there for yourself emotionally. Emotional exhaustion can quickly turn into depression, so today’s post is written to help you prevent that. I hope to give you some motivation to just keep going, even when it feels like you’re going nowhere.

You’re not alone. Sisters. Brothers. All of you in this fight to co-parent consistently. You are not alone. There are so many people sharing in the emotional exhaustion that comes with working to do the right thing even when it’s not noticed or reciprocated. Here is a group of people who are in that fight with you. Join them for free and share your story.

Even though it doesn’t feel like it, the modeling you are doing is being noticed. I will tell you that it is absolutely being noticed by your co-parent, but more importantly, it’s noticed by your kids. When you start to feel like the work you do goes nowhere, know this, your kids notice it. Even though you’re not letting them in on what’s happening between you and your co-parent, your kids notice the emotions in your face. When you show them positive co-parenting in spite of the frustration you feel.

When you feeling like nothing you’re doing matters and all you want to do is give up, re-consume yourself in your children’s lives. They’re the reason you keep doing this, right? You know that positive co-parenting is what’s best for them. You’ve taken the courses, read the books, applied the knowledge, but you know you can’t control them and it’s frustrating because it could be easier on everyone - especially your children. This is the time to let go of the frustration and focus entirely on your children. Go to the park. Visit a museum. Grab a basketball and get a game going. Hit the gym for family bootcamp. Just grab a board game and start to play. I promise you that for every minute you spend simply enjoying your kids, you gain just enough emotional energy to keep trying with your co-parent.

If you’re like most parents, you have pictures of your kids on your desk, on your phone, and projects from them everywhere, too. Today, I challenge you to look at those with both thankfulness and admiration, but also with a renewed energy to keep doing your part to give them what you know is best for them - positive co-parenting.

*I know that co-parenting isn’t possible for all divorced families. I know that parallel parenting is a reality for many parents, and that’s not all bad for your children. Even if parallel parenting is where you’re at, know that the positive attitude you have towards your co-parent is noticed. Parallel parenting doesn’t take the work away, it just limits the opportunities for arguments.

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Kaern Becker, MA Life Coach