No one plans to get a divorce or to co-parent with their ex. I don't think there are groups of people who think co-parenting is the ideal way to raise kids. Yet, here we are.
Do you feel like this is where some of us get stuck? We knew what we wanted, many of us planned it out, but we're in this place that sometimes sucks.
It's a New Year, but even if it isn't, it's time for a new attitude. Rather than getting stuck in a place of regret, frustration, or even anger, let's go through the steps to create our new life.
Step 1 is to accept where you are. Yep. We're divorced. We're co-parenting, and potentially with someone who refuses to co-parent with us. The stressors of a bad marriage are gone and are replaced with a tough co-parenting relationship. You know those signs with a red dot saying, "You are here". Like it or not, we are here.
Step 2 is to grieve what was. You cannot get closure without grieving. The life you wanted and planned for isn't where you are. It's ok to be sad about that. It's ok to say goodbye to the plans you had, in fact it's healthy to.
Step 3 is to move forward. OK, Plan A didn't work out, but there are many more letters after that. Where do you want to go? Go back to last week's post The Co-Parenting List and make your plan.
It's a New Year. It's time for a new attitude, a new way to think, and a new place for you to be emotionally.