On a daily basis, I hear Moms saying things like, "I lost it when my son accidentally spilled his crackers all over the floor..." or "I asked my husband to take over watching the kids even though he had a long day..." or "I put Sofia the First on for over an hour and let my 4 year old watch while I attempted to get something done...." and "...I feel so guilty!"
Moms, it's time to give up the guilt!
This weekend, I got to catch up with old friends over dinner. I was gone for a mere 3 hours and when I got home, my incredible husband had done the dishes, given our youngest a bath and even painted her toenails (complete with glitter)! Do you want to know my first reaction? It was guilt! As Tina Fey would say, "What the what?!?" Here this amazing man went way above and beyond and instead of feeling loved, thankful or happy, I actually felt guilty! I felt guilty because he handled something that usually falls to me because I went out for dinner. Even as I was feeling this, my mind was thinking, "Whoa, you should not be feeling guilty, you should be thankful." I did thank him that night because as the kids went to bed, I was able to put my feet up and enjoy some time with him, but I couldn't shake the feeling that my reaction was so far off-base. I decided to figure this out.
So here it is, ladies. Here are my 3 ways to give up the guilt.
- Realize that we're not perfect. Everything we do is being watched by our children and if we are expecting perfection our of ourselves, won't our kids think we want perfection out of them, too? Give up the thought that everything we do has to be perfect and focus, instead, on teaching our children how to handle it when things don't go as planned.
- Pick one thing you do want to work on and then, work on it! Maybe you yell more than you'd like or you're not laughing as much as you want or your house isn't in perfect order all the time. Pick just one of those, then work on building a goal to go with it! No idea how to do that? Here's a great YouTube video to walk you through it.
- Put the 10-10-10 rule in place. This is my favorite rule. All you do is ask yourself the following three questions. If the answer is no, then why stress over it? The trick is going to be not over-thinking this and just accepting that, in most cases, it won't really matter anyway.
- Will this matter in 10 minutes?
- Will this matter in 10 months?
- Will this matter in 10 years?
If you've tried this or anything else to give up the guilt, comment below and tell me what that is!! Let's get a conversation going about what works and what doesn't. Mom guilt isn't going away anytime soon, we just have to figure out ways to manage it.