Did you see the article saying parents who nag their children raise more successful children? To read more about it, click here

What does that say about our parenting styles?  Research shows that one parenting style consistently brings up the happiest, most successful children, but each have their place in the world of parenting. 

I've sent out the Parenting Styles quiz before, but you can get your copy here

What does your quiz say about you?  Are you raising your children with the right amount of love and structure?  Do you balance your time as a parent between being the disciplinarian and the fun, loving parent? 

Today's tip is meant to help you do just that! 

  1. Pick your battles.  When it comes to doing chores around the house, many parents say their children are doing the bare minimum.  In fact, most parents take over because they say, "it's easier and faster for me to do it than for me to fight with my child over getting it done and doing it right."  Yeah, they're right, it is, but what does that teach your children?  What if you gave them a choice of chores: dishes or your room?  Then be sure to give them clear expectations about what done really means.  Include positive and negative consequences (e.g. more screen time if done well, less screen time if not done well) and then let them make their choice!  This is a perfect balance between love and structure that teaches your children valuable lessons to last them years.  
  2. Follow through, follow through, follow through.  When you pick which battles you want to take on, whether it's chores, homework, and bedtimes or homework, practicing instruments, and screen time, you have to follow through on your consequences.  Your children will not learn about doing things well or being proud of their work unless you do follow through! 
  3. Do it with love.  For many parents, handing out those negative consequences is tough!  They feel like their children will hate them and they think it'll mean their children will never be close to them.  Not true!  Not only does this teach them valuable lessons that they'll thank you for, but it'll show them that you DO love them because you have high expectations of them.  When you do have to hand out a negative consequences, remind them that you love them unconditionally and don't forget the hugs!

Those are my top 3 tips for balancing love and structure in your home.  What works?  Comment in the blog here and let us know what works, what doesn't, and what you need help with!

Many of the behavior issues we see in our kids come from emotions they're unsure about how to deal with. Learn how to talk to your kids about emotions and how to manage them - all their emotions are normal and justified, we just need to open up communication with our kids so thye know how to handle them. 

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Kaern Becker, MA Life Coach